Thirty Ways To Fail At Fund Raising In Hard Times
By John Flanagan

  1. Be negative.

  2. Avoid anything new or different. "We never did it that way before," should be your motto.

  3. Write your local newspaper and tell them hard times are hurting your agency.

  4. Write proposals for government money. Spend your time lobbying in Washington, DC, If you don’t get it. Spend your time entertaining auditors if you do get it.

  5. Write proposals to the same handful of foundations that everyone writes. If possible, use an out-of-date directory.

  6. Berate the foundations that turn you down. Say they are insensitive.

  7. Be too busy to write thank-you notes.

  8. Be too busy to make a long-range plan for fund raising.

  9. Be too busy to meet with each person on your board of directors to find out what he or she wants to do.

  10. Be too busy to evaluate last year’s fund raising.

  11. Decide you can’t afford an audit.

  12. Decide you can’t afford any training.

  13. Decide you can’t afford to take any chances.

  14. Never ask your current donors for money more than once a year because you think it is not polite.

  15. Never ask your board for money because they already give you their time.

  16. Never ask your volunteers for money because they already give you their time.

  17. Never ask your family or friends for money because it is too personal.

  18. Never ask your clients to raise money because they are a) unemployed, b) in trouble, c) under stress, or d) all of the above.

  19. Never ask your senior citizens to raise money because they are too old.

  20. Never ask the youth to raise money because they are too young.

  21. Never ask any low income person for money because they’re poor

  22. Never ask any rich person for money because you don’t know them well enough.

  23. Never ask anyone new for money because they don’t know the agency well enough.

  24. Never ask the old-timers for money because they never gave before.

  25. Never trade your donors list with another group because you are afraid you may lose some donors.

  26. Never include terms of office in your bylaws. Keep all your dead wood on the board forever and let the new energetic people participate somewhere else.

  27. Never tell a candidate for the board that the most important part of the job is asking for money. Wait until after they are on the board, then surprise them with fund raising.

  28. Preferably, throw a tantrum in front of the entire board after the first financial report showing a deficit.

  29. Never ask for advice.

  30. Never ask for help.

  31. Never ask for money.

As quoted by , Barbara Antrim in Development Ideas for Rescue Ministries (IUGM)